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Want Flexible Working but Worried About Asking? Here’s What Every Working Dad Should Know

Flexible working isn’t just for mums, and asking for it shouldn’t put your career at risk. Here’s how to start the conversation with confidence.

You’ve got a good job. You enjoy what you do. You’ve worked hard to get where you are.

But there’s something you’d really like to change.

Maybe you want to collect your children from school a couple of days a week. Perhaps you’re tired of spending two hours commuting when you could be doing exactly the same job from home. Or maybe you’d simply like to be around for more of the everyday moments that seem to disappear far too quickly.

There’s just one problem.

You’re worried about what your employer will think if you ask.

Will they question your commitment? Will it affect your next promotion? Will you suddenly be seen as less ambitious?

If any of that sounds familiar, you’re not alone.

And it’s time we talked about it.

Why do dads still feel awkward asking for flexibility?

We’ve come a long way in how we talk about working parents, but some old assumptions are proving remarkably difficult to shift.

Mums are often expected to juggle work and childcare. Dads, meanwhile, can still feel an unspoken pressure to put their careers first.

It’s the idea that a successful father should be the provider, the dependable employee, the person who’s always available.

And although many workplaces have moved on, that expectation can still influence how men feel about asking for something different.

The result?

Dads who would love to work more flexibly sometimes don’t even start the conversation.

But wanting to spend more time with your children doesn’t make you less ambitious.

It makes you a dad who wants to be present.

And those two things should be perfectly compatible.

First, know your flexible working rights

Here’s something every working dad in the UK should know.

Since April 2024, employees have had the statutory right to request flexible working from their first day of employment.

That means you don’t have to wait 26 weeks before making a request.

You can also make two statutory flexible working requests within a 12-month period.

Your employer must consult with you before refusing a request, and statutory requests generally need to be dealt with within two months, unless you agree to an extension.

Now, there’s an important distinction here.

You have the right to request flexible working, not an automatic right to have your preferred arrangement approved.

Employers can refuse requests for specified business reasons.

But the conversation is one you’re entitled to have.

And flexible working doesn’t just mean working from home. It could include changes to your hours, working pattern or location.

Think about what would actually make a difference

Before approaching your employer, work out what you really need.

It’s easy to say, “I’d like more flexibility.”

But what would that look like in practice?

Perhaps it’s:

The right arrangement will depend on your job, your family and what matters most to you.

Don’t assume the only option is working from home.

Sometimes a relatively small change to your working day can make an enormous difference to family life.

Make it a conversation about how work gets done

When you’re ready to speak to your manager, think about the work itself.

What needs to be delivered? When do colleagues and customers need you? Which parts of your job genuinely require you to be in a particular place at a particular time?

And which parts don’t?

For example, if you’re asking to finish at 3pm twice a week, could you start earlier on those days?

If you’d like to work from home, how will you stay connected with your team?

If you’re proposing compressed hours, how will you manage deadlines and availability?

This isn’t about proving that you deserve to see your children.

You shouldn’t have to do that.

It’s about helping your employer understand how the arrangement could work in practice.

The strongest flexible working arrangements are designed around outcomes, not assumptions about hours.

Don’t apologise for having a family

This one’s important.

You don’t need to open the conversation by apologising.

You don’t need to suggest that your request is unreasonable.

And you certainly don’t need to pretend that your family commitments are somehow less important than everyone else’s.

You can be professional, positive and clear about what you’re asking for.

Try something like:

“I really enjoy my role and want to continue contributing at the same level. I’d like to explore whether we could adjust my working pattern so I can manage some regular family commitments. I’ve thought about how we could make it work without affecting delivery, and I’d appreciate the opportunity to discuss it.”

Simple. Constructive. Confident.

No apologies necessary.

What if your employer says no?

A refusal can be disappointing, particularly if you’ve spent weeks working up the courage to ask.

But don’t automatically assume the conversation is over.

Ask which parts of your proposal are difficult for the business.

Could you try a different working pattern? Would a trial period help? Is there another arrangement that could achieve a similar result?

Sometimes a little creativity can uncover an option neither side had originally considered.

Of course, not every employer will be willing or able to offer the flexibility you need.

And that’s worth knowing too.

Because if the way your workplace operates is consistently incompatible with the life you want to lead, it might be time to explore other opportunities.

Maybe the problem isn’t your request. Maybe it’s how the job was designed.

Here’s where we think the conversation needs to change.

Why are so many people still having to ask for flexibility as an exception?

Why aren’t more jobs designed to accommodate different working patterns from the outset?

Imagine applying for a role where the employer had already considered how the work could be delivered flexibly.

Where you didn’t have to wait until you were employed to discover whether school pickups were possible.

Where flexible working wasn’t a special arrangement but simply part of how the organisation operated.

That’s the kind of working world we’d like to see.

One where employers focus on what people achieve, rather than how long they’re sitting at a desk.

And where dads can be ambitious about their careers and their families.

DaddyJobs is here to help you find work that fits

At DaddyJobs, we believe being a parent shouldn’t limit your career opportunities.

Whether you’re looking for hybrid work, part-time hours, remote opportunities or an employer with a genuinely flexible approach, we want to make finding the right fit easier.

Because your career matters.

Your family matters.

And you shouldn’t have to sacrifice one for the other.

Work that fits. Life that works.

That’s what we’re here for.

Ready to find a better fit?

Looking for work? Explore flexible opportunities through DaddyJobs and discover roles that work around real life.

An employer doing things differently? Advertise with DaddyJobs and reach talented people who want to build great careers while being present for their families.